Barbers

Why is it when you go to the barbers or the hairdressers, they always ask you what you’ve got planned for the rest of the day? Why do they want to know? What do they do with the information? Maybe its a secret means of mass observation. As soon as you leave, they write down what you’re going to be up to in a notebook, and then this is typed up and filed at a secret research centre, before it will ultimately be presented in a report, entitled, “What People Have Got Planned For The Rest Of The Day: Findings and Analysis”.

Or is it part of the erosion of our civil liberties? Maybe its MI5, hoping that in answer to the question, “What have you got planned for the rest of the day?”, somebody’s going to say, “I’m going to plan a poison gas attack on the Houses of Parliament.” Who knows how many lives the barbers and hairdressers of Britain have already saved in this way? 

So if you suspect someone of being a terrorist, tell them their hair is looking a bit scraggly. It might just be the most important thing you do.

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One Response to “Barbers”

  1. I am contractually obliged at this stage to quote the old cartoon (can’t remember where from, but the usual form in these situations is to say The New Yorker or Punch and nobody will contradict you), which shows a man being asked by a barber, “How would you like your hair cut, sir?”, to which he replies, “In perfect silence, interrupted only by the busy snip-snip of scissors.”

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