Somerfield advert

You may have seen this advert on telly. It’s the one where the mum’s in the shop, and her two surfer boy sons turn up at the window, and one of them mimes shoveling down a plate of food. If I caught a child of mine doing that, I’d find it very hard to resist the temptation to shove his oh-so-punchable face through said window, crying ‘eat that, you horrible twerp, I rue the day my testicles generated the sperm that would one day result in the sick fact of your existence.’

Then, when they’re inside, the other, equally odious boy says, ‘Hi mum, that basket’s way too small’. At this point, the mother, rather than doing the right thing and telling the ungrateful cretin he can eat a trolleyful of food by himself in one go when he’s old enough to pay for the stuff and not before, meekly gives in and buys a leg of lamb that looks like it’s come off Auld Blackie, the giant demon sheep of the Moors. It’s like they’ve never stopped breast-feeding, and this is a coded way of telling their mum, ‘we don’t care if your nipples are swollen and bleeding, give us more milk! And when you’re out of milk, we’ll just nourish ourselves with your blood.’

In my day, being a teenager involved chronic insecurity, mumbling and public hatred of anyone over twenty-two, especially if they were paying for your upkeep. These pair of tits seem to think that one’s teenage years should be spent being cocky, loud, and enjoying good relations with a parent, who bizarrely seems to put up with their shit. It is just not acceptable in my view and should be stopped.

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One Response to “Somerfield advert”

  1. Surely the worst of it is that the spoilt little bastards can’t even be bothered to wash up afterwards. She must cry into her hankies – but only if she’s bought them herself – at her sorry existence at the behaviour of her contemptible spawn – while playing Stepford Mum in the land of Somerfield. And where’s the dad? Probably shagging that Asda woman who kept slapping her arse as she walked by.

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